Saturday, October 29, 2016

The places that men eat at #Blogging

“Yes, my consuming desire to mingle with road crews, sailors and soldiers, bar room regulars--to be a part of a scene, anonymous, listening, recording--all is spoiled by the fact that I am a girl, a female always in danger of assault and battery. My consuming interest in men and their lives is often misconstrued as a desire to seduce them, or as an invitation to intimacy. Yet, God, I want to talk to everybody I can as deeply as I can. I want to be able to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night"

I cannot begin to explain this intense frustration. I was talking to a friend who went on a trip 'just like that', neither can I explain how tired of everyone thinks I am a spoiled brat for booking Volvo tickets or 3 tier AC. But here's the thing, what you don't get is that I have had terrible experiences travelling like I want to, I am neither rich not spoiled, what I am is a woman. 

Off late, I am noticing how many places I keep away from. My brain goes into a game of "Is this place shady.." I know people who on a whim go to places like a railway station because the canteen is great. I have no problem with these people, what I do have a problem with is how limited my access to these amazing places is. 

I started going to this place for lunch, its absolutely amazing! Typical dhabba food. I have to say, the only place that I've had dhabba food is a dhabba themed restaurant. My new found love for this lunch place is a constant reminder of a lot of things I do miss out on. I am sure glad to have found my dhabba and some girl friends to eat there. But the first day I went there, i saw just men. I was constantly trying to not bump into people.

This is not just about one dhabba. You know how people take smoke breaks when travelling? I've never even stepped out of a train. Guess what else I've not done, made plans to go out. I've never taken cabs in the night... okay that might be because I lack a social life.

I am not in a complaining mood, I am in a observational mood. I guess stumbling on this  Plath Quote really brought back a bunch of things that I've been noticing. I have over the last year become a lot more assertive of my presence. But I still have a loooooong way to go and I can only go the distance over a period of time, and I can only go the distance over a period of time.

For now, I refuse to be invisible. I am not optional. I am not going to be an afterthought.

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