Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Waking up on the last day #AToZChallenge

I don't know if I've ever consciously given something so much thought as I gave to my last days in Erie. I was very very aware about everything. I was waking up knowing that the bed was temporary. The kitchen was temporary. The cutlery was  going back to the shelves it came from. The beds were going back to their place. The couch where I used to lie down wasn't coming with me. The painting of the birds that hung behind the couch was something I was leaving. The gnome that sat on the table was going to be a permanent resident of my Erie home, as opposed to me. I was leaving. I was very aware. This is perhaps one of those moments where the word 'Epiphany' makes perfect sense. I kept thinking, why am I so invested in these things?

As the days of leaving were coming closer, I was also looking forward to the next time I would be in the company of my family and friends, all of whom, I wanted to hug and talk to. I always have maintained that family and friends are the reason for my sanity (or the lack of it). After going through the emotional roller coaster that was packing my bags, I was sitting in the house; my husband was out wrapping up some last minute work like returning the car and filling out some paper work. Our home inspection was due in a little bit before we finally lock the door and head to the hotel. I was all by my self and out of nowhere, I wanted to click as many pictures of the house as I could. I still have them all. The hall, the couch, the cupboards... everything.

Soon, the home inspection was done. We were ready to say bye and head out. We put the keys in and locked ourselves out. The final act of bidding goodbye. Wasn't nearly as dramatic as it sounds, but it kind of was. We were never going to let ourselves in again, ever.  Can't have a more conclusive bye, can you?

At the hotel, we were wondering what I was going to do till 3 AM before the cab came and I would leave for the airport, when the cab finally came, with a heavy heart full of a million memories, I picked up my bag, my passport and walked out. One last time.

Here's the thing about goodbyes, no matter how much you prepare for them, they are never easy. I could tell you today, I could tell you a year from now and you'll still never be ready. The idea is to get over it. Get involved in something else very quickly and move on. I believe that the happiest memories of Erie will make up for me missing it. Even now, I catch up on Erie news and it feels oddly familiar and very distant. It feels like years ago and still feels like yesterday.


  1. Next month, I'm coming up on three years since we moved from home...also Erie (perhaps a different one though-- I lived in PA)!! I can totally relate to mom had grown up there, as had I, and I was so emotional about it! I remember doing all the "lasts": walking into my bedroom, around my neighborhood, stuff like that. It kills you, for sure-- or at least, it broke my heart. But there's something about the hope for whatever is next that keeps you going.

    1. I was in Erie, PA as well! What parts around erie were you in? :)

    2. NO WAY! What a small world!! For the majority of my time there, I lived on Roslindale, in Millcreek, literally just around the corner from Rita's Italian Ice. How about you?

  2. Some places are just like that. They feel like home since the first day, and it hurts to leave it. For me, it's my hostel room back in Pune. I loved every inch of that room that saw me through three fabulous years of college. Great post. It got me reminiscing. :)
    [@samantha_rjsdr] from
    Whimsical Compass

  3. That was so sad Maggie! One does tend to get attached to places and really hard to break away. But time heals and soothes and leaves soft memories in place of sharp pangs.
    @KalaRavi16 from

  4. Sometimes life is just like that. We feel hard to say goodbye though we knew from the start that it was all temporary. Great post!

  5. Goodbyes are never easy. Like you rightly said, nothing can ever prepare us for them and they hurt even in our memories.
    I could feel your pain in your words.

  6. "Family and friends are the reason for my sanity (or the lack of it)"
    I would agree with the latter for my case :D
    The final act of bidding goodbye is always hard. You have the keys in your hand, and you can let yourself in and make a tantrum to not leave, but it just won't happen. You know that deep down you wanted to go back, but when the opportunity presents itself, boom, there's an upheaval of emotions everywhere. :(


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